You look around, hoping you don't lose control. That early version of yourself, the one who believed anger could overpower others, still lingers in the background. Fists clenched. Voice raised. It is the illusion many of us fall for. We think yelling makes us feel heard, that frustration means we are strong. However, the truth is that anger often remains stuck in its initial form, loud, chaotic, and unaware of the damage it leaves behind.
In that first stage, we cry, we shout, and we forget who we are. We stop caring about how our actions affect those around us. We hurt from something more profound, but we lash out without knowing why.
Stage two is where we pay the price for growth. It is a point at which we start to move forward, provided we are willing to look within ourselves. We face the parts of ourselves that we have ignored far too long. This process is not easy; although it may sound simple, it requires considerable effort. Marking the beginning of gaining clarity. We come to understand that anger is not a sign of strength; rather, it is a form of pain that needs to be acknowledged and addressed.
I am not a therapist, and I do not claim to be. I am just someone who has walked this path. And for me, stage three is where actual growth begins. It is the moment you learn to calm yourself before you speak. To think before you act. Because if you do not, you risk losing something far more important than the argument, the trust, the relationship, the peace.
And one day, you may look back and wonder, What was I even angry about? Sometimes the answer is nothing at all.
That is the moment peace starts to grow. Recognizing that anger is not a force meant to dominate you, but an influential teacher can change everything. Just like a shadow, it stays close until you are ready to turn and face it. And when you do, you find something more substantial than rage, understanding.